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Welcome to the Buffalo Hash House Harriers...
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem |
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|  25 Hashers came out yesterday to run a shitty trail, drink some beer, take the piss out of each other and celebrate 3 new MDs in the Hash - Inverted Camel Toe, Is That a Penis? and Yuk Off.
Is That a Penis? and Yuk Off had some prior commitments, which left ICT and her out-of-towner family as our sole newly minted MD. Fortunately, her brother, Just Joe, can drink for several people and, when needed, can cut his hand for several more.
Shirts and beers were brought out in the sun and wind…I especially liked the collar of On-On feet at the neck.
Trail set out from the Pavilion at LaSalle Park, after two virgins had their shoes blessed by the Hare. Just Mike and Just Jonathan looked apprehensive as I poured some beer on their shoes. They looked even more apprehensive as Udder tried to get to the beer early by licking their shoes. Say what you want about Udder, but he’s willing to work for his beer.
Along the river, up the gardens of beautiful waterfront condos. The intricately laid trail was immediately blown apart by Gazelleria. Note to self - find some way to break this guy's legs if I ever want to have a clever trail again.
Out and back from the water, over past some new construction and around to the aborted Margarita Check Near. Out next to Shanghai Reds and back towards the tracks. Trail markings got a little sparse (for my taste) when Crash found trail under the 190. Backcheck anyone? Over the tracks again and on to Lakefront where BN was found.
On back to the deck of Just Moira. Beer , shitty margaritas and a great view awaited us. Apparently, following directions on the mixer bottle does not lead to the tastiest drinks. Vagatarian may be put in charge of all future margarita nears. Pussy Whipped was talking smack and helping drink the beer as Hashers caught up on the latest goings-on. I heard from Soup – pardon me, Fuckin’ Fartin’ Fir, that the Great Valley Hash had been a success. And by “success”, I mean that he had a wicked hangover. We sang Moira some cheer and I asked her not to tell my family about hashing. I’m sure she won’t say a word.
On-On to the On-In. Pussy Whipped and Crash running across the fields apparently terrified a couple of locals who figured that any gringos running in this neighborhood were probably the cops. Oh how wrong they were!
Udder got us singing “Today is Monday”, with Wednesday being Just Bethany’s favorite day. Circle opened with the Hares, ICT as a major overachiever, virgins, and out-of-towners. Most of us had missed the last hash and drank for that. Then Bangs got called in for wearing a lot of racist gear. We don’t cotton to that kind of behavior in our Hash!
Shitty margaritas, playing with your balls in the Circle, attending lots of Hashes, shortcutting, having your birthday in May, r*nning the Half-marathon (someone in exactly the same time she did last year) all led to a “dry lips” accusation.
This brought Just Molly into the Circle, who had reluctantly come out to Hash that day. Her worry, she explained to me, was that “it would take a long time for me to get a name”.
Easy enough to solve that problem, just do or say something stupid! This is usually not a problem for Hashers.
She then volunteered that earlier that day, something had gotten “All over my lips”. Damn Girl! Down on your knees for a naming! I’ll let her tell you what that mysterious substance was.
The Age of the Hairy Ass dawned at the end of the circle and we left, as always, hoping to get a piece. The On-After was a raucous and chicken wing fueled affair. Note to Hashers – avoid the Anchor Bar. They apparently will kick us out on sight next time. Yes, it was that good a time.
On On!
| | | | | | | Pre-lewd and Birthday Hash | | DrFuqsALot writes "When I recover from the frozen butt, sunburnt neck, Scotch Ale hangover, Corvette jacket infested with god-knows-what and notoriety of bringing the Hash to my place of work, I will write a proper trail review.
In the meantime, I need to find some crackers, soup and quiet place to lie down!
Thank you all for giving me the best birthday E.V.E.R!
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| | | | | | | The day the beer flowed again... | | DrFuqsALot writes "Remember Prohibition? Of course you don't! And thank goodness for that.
But if you had been there, you would have been extra thankful that 75 years ago today, a few months before Prohibition was repealed, beer was made available by a little trick of law writing. Who says Congress has never accomplished anything worthwhile?
Full story...
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-ogle7apr07,0,1352168.story
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| | | | | | | Bunnies, Fashion and BEER? | | weecaptainorgan writes "FOUR hashes in 14 days! March madness is an understatement! You can tell summer is near when BH3 starts finding a reason to drink every couple of days.
A brisk sunny Saturday afternoon @ 10 hardy hashers ran trail in Emery Park after the infamous East Aurora Bunny Hop 5k. Yes that’s right 10 hashers were brave enough to try another one of Yeahs famously hared trails, where the quote.."There are no Rules" is certainly true. Many of us had a hard time finding the field house but we knew we were near the correct place, when we saw "from the car" the largest BN mark on a road ever printed. I think yeah used @ 10lbs of flour and 4 cans of red spray paint to make a mark so large you could see it from a 747 at 20,000 feet. After a quick chalk talk from Yeah, actually he just laughed through the whole thing we were on into the shiggy. Our Boston transplanted hashers Your not my Daddy and Moms Cumming discovered that being an FRB on a trail hared by Yeah means there will be 4 marks to a false trail. The wankers regrouped at a strategically placed falic looking ROD sticking out of the ground needless to say the girls loved it! http://www.buffaloh3.com/modules.php?name=gallery2&g2_itemId=7323 When we arrived at our first BN Mount Me and Tender Twat put on a fashion show of the new 2008 BH3 line (sorry GH no tie die available again this year) On-On to our next BN wear we had a snow sculpting contest. Ahhh the creation of the first Transgendered snow person.. a little something for everyone. Come to think of it this hash had quite a bit of class with a fashion show, art and uhhh Natural Ice beer? Oh well 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Some quick discussion of employment problems then on in to a circle ran by Mount me in the Mud (BTW Great job! I think this was her first I could remember. Well at least she still has some firsts...) At this time Hashers go in peace.. or do they?
SUDDENLY a car full of tipsy virgin bunnies shows up requiring our help. I know this sounds like something out of Penthouse Forum, but it really happened, Bunny ears and all. http://www.buffaloh3.com/modules.php?name=gallery2&g2_itemId=7338 Of course there was one hasher with them "If I find it I'll eat it" poured himself out of the car also, but we quickly put him to work cooking our wieners. http://www.buffaloh3.com/modules.php?name=gallery2&g2_itemId=7341 A friend in need is a friend indeed.. The girl’s car was stuck in a rut and with the help of Beebee Stacker we were able to get the car out.. Sorry about the wet shirt...DOC was a late comer and had to chug a down down as punishment. A full mug poured from @ 6 inches from his mouth. LArwahwahl replied I have never seen anyone swallow like that!
Shitty trail Yeah, the 50 lbs of flour you used to mark the trail could've been used to make tortillas for starving children somewhere in the world.
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| | | | | | | We f*cked all the virgins and drank all the beer! | | DrFuqsALot writes "Hash #510 took us back to some familar territory. So familiar in fact, that we identified marks from both #508, and #500!
14 or so Hashers set off from Mr. Goodbar. SS Crash, Yeah, Mount Me, Goes Down on Purpose, Stops for Head on Trail, FAL, Inverted Camel Toe, Just Sarah (who got named), Just Ted (who got some tongue action), and a bevy of lovely virgins. Just Sarah, Just Erin, Just Allie, Just Jean.
We almost had Just Father-forgive-me-for-I-have-sinned as well, but when asked if "he was here for the hash", he demured. Although he did come back out later to ask "what is all this hash about?"
What is it about? Running. And BEER!
We'll get to the beer later.
Some of us overachievers had run the Bengal 5k earlier, so we were looking for new FRBs. Just Erin helped us out by finding a typical Crash trail. That meant, BCs galore and two SuperNovas.
Winding through the neighborhood west of Elmwood we backchecked and whistled up to Bidwell Circle for the first SN. SN could also have stood for snowballs near, as it was perfect weather for throwing snow.
Still claiming they were virgins Just Erin and Just Sarah found trail. Back around to Soldier's Circle we went. Another SN? Yes, another SN.
Finally, smelling beer, we headed to the Casino and beer. Jello shots (gin!) and some songs. Just Ted started us with "My girlfriend is a corker, she is a New Yorker" (http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=57013&messages=9)
Major highlight of the day included a beer tasting from our resident beer-expert, SFHOT. Who knew he could talk out of his ass about beer?
We also discussed our employment problems and heard Just Sarah's rugger version of "Who said Head?!"
On On back to Goodbar via the Art Gallery steps and high rent Penhurst Drive. Back at the On-In, beer was poured and a circle was convened. After the Hare was told what a shitty trail he had layed, the virgins were brought forward. Just Sarah had made several of the virgins cum, including her sister! Some accusations (late cummers Jay Charles, Goo), peeing on trail, overachievement, missing the last Hash and hashing with your sister.
Speaking of which, Just Sarah was named - Vagatarian.
We had a special treat, hearing "The S&M Man" from a rugger at the bar as well before Just Ted planted a couple of sloppy wet ones on his favorite ladies. I think Just Jean will be explaining all that to her boyfriend for a while. She may never Hash again!
On-After to Panos where further discussions of China, drunk tattoos and how not to make a steak sandwich ensued.
Shitty trail, Crash! See some of you in Ra-cha-cha tomorrow at Green Dress and the rest at Bunny Drop!
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