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Welcome to the Buffalo Hash House Harriers...
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem |
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|  Who loves a party? Raise your hand. Ok. Now, who loves running 5 miles in the bright January sun? Put your shoes and pants on.
That describes the Hashers in attendance yesterday at Goo's birthday trail.
Udder, Hoots, Mount Me, Just Dawn, Just Chuck, Just Dan, C-Note, Bubble Beaver, You're Not My Daddy, Moms Cumming, Just Ellen, Luguharwuhl, Wee Captain, Bonkers, HeartAss, Runs Both Ways, Blows My Monkey, Head Dispenser, Pink Cosmo, Gazelleria, Grateful Head, Inverted Camel Toe, Yeah and yours truly.
Setting out from the Green Buffalo, we wound our way around Lancaster before doing a loop-de-loop into Como Park. One of the more picturaseque parts of the trail followed with bridges, snow laden paths, purple chalk arrows, artists on trail and frozen creeks.
Coming up Lakeside Drive, I had the feeling that we were approaching a BN. Maybe it was the multiple BNs written all over the place. Maybe it was my recognizing C-Notes' house. As late-cummers we had caught up to the pack here and exchanged some New Years love with the pack.
On-out as hypothermia set in, we ran a route somewhat similar to previous Lancaster hashes, running by Court Street Elementary School. By the way, has anyone noticed that there is a Kayla Lane just nearby there? I'm just sayin'.
Shiggy, train tracks, and then on-in to the blessed Pete's Hilltop. Site of several previous memorable Hashes, we reminisced, drank beer and met our Hashing family of the day - Just Ellen, You're Not My Daddy, Moms Cumming and Bubble Beaver. I have no idea what happens to a family that Hashes together and I hope to find out someday.
After rehydrating and defrosting we were On-In to the Buffalo for Circle. Udder stepped up to the plate and led us in down-downs for the Hares, Birthday girls, Out-of-Towners, and those who missed the last Hash. Notable events in Circle included C-Note's special sauce love for all those taking too f*cking long to do their down-downs and a naming.
A naming you say? Yes indeed. Just Ellen, the mother of two hashers turns out to have a love of Bush. What kind of Bush you ask? You had to be there for all the details, but suffice it to say that this mother of two liars became Depends on Bush. How many people get to pour beer down into their mom's mouth while she is seranaded by a pack of Hashers? My jealousy knows no bounds.
On-After to Crash and Goo's for a lovely spread to celebrate the Hash Hostess with the Mostess. And when I say spread, I do indeed mean C-Note's legs.
A night playing pool, drinking bubbly and making fools of ourselves on the foosball table. Perfection!
On On to the Flying Bison next week.
| | | | | | | Someone check the calendar. 60 degrees on December 27th? The hash gods were once again smiling down on BH3 as the downpours subsided by the 12:69 hash time. FertilEyes Her (stats version, or is it FertilizeHer, message board version?) and Mount Me in the Mud were joined by close to 30 hashers including Flour City (Mudman, Robins Wood, and Clueless) and Swain/ WNY Fullmoon/ Holidaze hashers Stones and Minkey. A few virgins were also in attendance as well as long time no see hashers Cums with Twins and Hizzoner.
The previous downpour only partially washed away trail marks but FertilEyes Her set out live-like as the pack started a round of Father Abraham. Trail started down Main Street (towards Buffalo on the McDonalds side of the street for SFHOT) past a few "intersections" (we call them checks up north) and across Main Street FertilEyes Her style - without a traffic light to the parking lot of his residence (on the Stereo Advantage side) for the first of 3 "beer" stops. Well, this was an actual beer stop since Molson Canadian was served. Socializing commenced and FetilEyes Her went out live-like again as the pack started a round of Chicago.
He's a little stingy with the flour so it took the pack a few minutes to find trail that looped back towards Clarence and back up to Main St, through Ed Young's parking lot and back to Main for the 2nd BN featuring Gatorade colored vodka and a few remaining Canadians. Some peeing on trail occurred as well and a few snowballs were launched. The live-like trail ended and we were following remnants of marks. Here's a tip for upcumming hares: hit the trees on bad weather days! Back across Main to the McD's side and on trail. Stones asked where the convent was because that was where he knew the trail was heading. Every trail in this area (Flour City's #437 and Pittsburgh's #515) headed through there and past Glen Falls. On towards the convent to a BC 4 and through the flooded convent grounds and up towards Glen Falls and the "BN" featuring Blue Light carbonated water. Mudman led the pack with The 12 Days of Hashmas as Hoots signed. He also started a round of My Name is Joe and I Work in a Button Factory. FertilEyes Her re-marked the trail On-In and we were on in past the falls to Main St and Sorrentino's.
The pack was moved to the back room and circle began with the hares and virgins followed by out of towners, latecummers, and long time no see'ers. On to announcements (now I know how Doc feels) and then to accusations. Accusations included: leaving stuff at Holidaze, peeing on trail (Cums with twins returned the I Peed on Trail sign from July 21st - Mouthful of Girlfriend now has it!), pants off in the parking lot, talking about purses during circle, technology on trail, and racist gear.
On to presentations for the outgoing Hashmaster -FFF/Soup, RA -Dr FAL, and Haberdashery- Mount Me. All received a personalized flask. Incumming officers were introduced- Hash Joint Masters Hoots and Udder, RA - FertilEyes Her and Hare Raiser - Dr. FAL. Hey FAL - update those stats will you?!?!
On On,
Out going HareRaiser / Incumming Scribe,
SS Crash
| | Posted by sscrash on Sunday, December 28 @ 09:15:21 CST (17 reads) (comments? | Score: 0) | | | | | | Holidaze 2008 - A Recipe for Hashing | | Ingredients List:
60 Hashers (give or take a few). Partly pickled in beer and unfrozen from afternoon trail. Stuff into room meant to hold 30.
Dick Tracy. If not able to find Dick (who is hard to come by), consider Fuk Stik or Tour De Puke.
A Weekend's worth of Hash-worthy behavior. Yes, I'm talking about you.
The 9th running of Holidaze, courtesy of SMILF, Stonz, RobinsWood and Butt Floss.
Prepare Ingredients:
Call Hares into Circle.
Try to understand how they laid a trail over some super secret no-running part of the park. Realize that is impossible to understand anything that half-minds do and resort to silly string and multiple down-downs for the bastards.
Call those suspected of "other activities" instead of r*nning trail.
Really, if you had a choice, would you rather get laid or run 6 miles of freezing trail? Ok. I mean, except for Crash, Master Baster, Mudman, Panic Button.
Call those who say embarrassing things into the Circle.
These ingredients are selected at random from pretty much every single Hasher in attendance. The choice this night was for Loves-a-LubeJob and New Shoez.
Take off the RAs clothes, revealing an even gayer outfit than you imagined was there.
Call in the maker of HashSpace. Sux-n-Blow. Really, this guy was calling attention to himself all night. First, creating a website with 10 000+ Hashers on it. Second, having a hot harriette on his lap. Third.........uhhh...I can't really remember what was after the harriette.
Call in the Kennel with the most Hashers in attendance. Yes, Buffalo was in the house! And the Age of the Hairy Ass did indeed dawn.
Finally - Once down-downs are completed, proceed to announce your engagement to Chemical Whorefare. Really, dude, how did you manage that one? Did you spike her beer for the past 10 years? Because if you did, I need some of that shit. Congrats and may you wankers hash in peace. Can I come to the wedding? That shit will be some serious fun.
On On!
| | | | | | | I saw your mother at a Pub Crawl | | "Your mother". That joke never gets old!
You know what else doesn't get old? A few beers and a shot of Wu-Wu in Lackawana.
Bloody Strap-On, Mount Me, Shots from Her Thinger, Bangs, Fertil Eyes Her, Udder, Inverted CamelToe, Fukin Fartin Fir, Vagatarian, Just Mary and Just Sue left the Red Eye Saloon in Lackawana last night looking for trail and beer.
What we found was the brightest and cleanest trail markings I've ever seen. Forensic analysis revealed the substance to be washing machine detergent. At least that is what it tasted like to me!
On-On around the block to our first stop. Some food, some Holidaze discussion, some songs for our helpful bartender. And then the Sharpie came out. Photos will be around later. All I can say is that getting up on a ladder and writing on the ceiling with a bunch of freaking hashers around is fraught with danger, hilarity and hands all up-in-your-business.
On-Out to the freakiest bar in Lackawana. Oh where oh where was Grateful Head?. This place had her name written all over it. Hash games ensued while the bartender bought us some shots of Wu-Wu. I was feeling pretty woo-woo at that moment, trying to figure out if Just Sari was planning on taking advantage of us after she had us drunk.
We left before that question could be answered. We did answer the question of "Who will take their pants down while singing to a lovely young bartender?". I know you're sad to have missed that!
On-In back to the Red Eye. Circle commenced with accusations of laying a trail, being from the Baghdad Hash, Texturbating on trail, being a virgin, being the hare's mom, having an ass that you could bounce a quarter off of, bouncing a quarter off someone's ass and FRBing.
Things are a little fuzzy from there....all I can say is that Bloody lays a shitty trail and I look forward to seeing her On-On again here in the B-Lo. Just as soon as that little Iraq situation gets straightened out!
| | | | | | | Hash Weeked - Tender Twat's Birthday and Beaver Island. | | All right, boys and girls, get a beer and a #2 pencil. On second thought, take your shirt off as well. Oh, and while you're at it, how about a cig and a can of gasoline?
Yes, it's another Hash Weekend Quiz.
#1. You arrive at Tender Twat's and Thundering Balls house. Why did you come?
a. You didn't get enough beer in Ellicotville
b. You heard that TT was giving out birthday spanks.
c. Saturday is a hashing day!
d. Beautiful West Falls, NY. Shiggy and beer. Do I need more reasons?
#2. Trail sets out and soon you come to a false trail that Thundering Balls says "isn't really a false trail".
a. I know, I know...there are no rules
b. Did I miss something in the destructions about this new kind of false trail?
c. Who cares -- we're running through the woods and it's beautiful.
#3. What was your favorite jello shot flavor?
a. Pina Colada. Jello-shot-a-licious.
b. Barb-wire flavor. Oh wait.....I wasn't supposed to be licking the wire?
c. Blue. I think blue is a flavor. Or at least after 5 or 10 shots blue can be a flavor.
d. Beer. I don't do those new-fangled jello shots.
#4. Gazelleria explained the National Fuel things we were running by. What do you remember?
a. Nothing. He explained the way he runs, too freaking fast.
b. Nothing. All I could think of was Thundering Balls' cigs and the big tank of propane we were standing next to.
c. Nothing. I kept having flashbacks to the NFTA Boat Harbor Hash where I was sure we are all getting arrested.
d. Nothing. Shiggy and beer is what I come for, not lessons in how gas storage works.
#5. You're at the On-After and you meet both TT's parents, her neighboors and her children. You conclude:
a. She invited Hashers to meet these people? Has she lost her mind?!
b. Those were some good weiners.
c. Are all volunteer firemen pyromaniacs?
d. I must find a way to move into her house, Just Amanda and Just Sam won't need those rooms forever, will they?
#6. Fertil-Eyes-Her and Crash lay a trail in Beaver Island State Park. How long before boobs are seen on trail?
a. 5 minutes. Big thanks to Just Jill! Best Hash e.v.e.r!
b. 5 minutes. Too damn long if you ask me!
c. 5 minutes. My retinas are still burned from those other top-less Hashers, FukenFartin Fir and Udder, though.
d. 5 minutes. Stops for Head on Trail says that there is good naked and bad naked. I say we can't know for sure without more evidence!
#7. Goes Down on Purpose and SFHOT bring virgins. Lots of virgins. Did they have a good time?
a. What? Sorry, I was still thinking about those boobs back in #6.
b. Just Judy seemed to get in the swing of things when she said she was looking out for low flying balls.
c. Just Paul offered to bring a keg of Guinness. Dude, we have high standards here at the Buffalo Hash......you had us at "keg".
d. Just Chris is running something called a half-marathon next week. We'll see, that kind of overachievement is NOT what we need around here. :-)
#8. Big Pussy rides a bike off the dock.
a. This isn't really a question. Just saying. Off. The. Dock.
#9. The first On-In sign is about a mile from the actual On-In. Thoughts?
a. Hey, it's a Crash trail.
b. More time to appreciate the Native American Summer we're having.
c. More time to look for low flying balls.
d. No whining on trail!
Next Hash - Next week -- Chez Crash and Goo. Look for details cuming soon!
a.
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